ISP begins...

ISP blog:
Wed Nov 19.
Yesterday Was day 1 of ISP—independent study project—where I’ve moved out of my home stay and get to travel around the country as I wish to do research on a particular topic. Saying goodbye to my family was…bittersweet? But more on the sweet side most definitely. They had been EXTRA nice and attentive the last week or two and at first I thought, well that’s ironic, why are they being nice now? Why couldn’t they have wanted to talk to me 3 months ago? But then my more cynical side told me they probably wanted me to leave on an extra good note considering I was going to be filling out an evaluation for them in the near future. Oh well, they did invite me back for the Aide holiday (pronounced Eede) on Dec 8th or 9th and my mom told me that she would do my laundry for me. It’s a big holiday in Morocco where traditionally they slaughter a goat for some religious reason. So I do think I’m going to go for the culture aspect and for the free laundry serviceJ
So I left Rabat for the city of Fes on Tuesday morning. I’m traveling with my friends Camille, Elliot and Sarah. We made it to our hotel after a little hassle and then we wondered around had awesome lunch and dinner (god I’m so appreciative of yummy food!!) and then we came back to watch some movies and go to bed… it was really nice, I just don’t want to actually start working now!
Camille is working with an animal shelter in Fez for her ISP and she got up early this morning to go to her “internship.” She’s actually got it made for the next three weeks. She’s interning with this shelter—it’s run by Canadians so everything will be in English—then her family is visiting for a week over Thanksgiving then she has one week left and she’s just going to come back to Rabat and write her paper. I’m so jealous because life is not so sweet for me. I’m not a proactive person at allll and I’m being forced to be incredibly proactive for my project. Ugh… it will be really emotionally strenuous but in the end I’ll hopefully be very proud of myself.
In the afternoon, Elliot, Sarah and I took a cab to the medina and wondered around. (The Fez medina by the way is one of the most stressful places with its windy roads and insistent salesmen yet it’s a pretty touristy-friendly as well and as long as you don’t take any turns off the main path, it’s actually really great and cheap!!) Elliot’s doing his project about art and artists in Morocco so he chatted it up with some artists while Sarah and I shopped a bit. Then we had lunch—which again was delicioussss (I am so surprised at the food thus far!)
Camille also found out today that the veterinarian clinic she is volunteering at is willing to house her and if she were there 24 hours a day it would be really great—so this is where things start to trip me up because now that Camille is moving in with her job, I am roommate-less. …we’ll see I suppose!

Thursday:
Ok today totally sucks. I hardly got any sleep last night because I’m starting to get very stressed out. Everyone is leaving Fes today or tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. First of all, I can’t afford (with the stipend they gave us to live off of) to have a hotel room by myself and I don’t want to check into a youth hostel b/c I won’t be able to lock all of my stuff anywhere and I’m not willing to risk that. Second of all, I’m not sure I can just live in a city in Morocco for even a few days all alone!
This morning I thought maybe I would just go to Tangier a few days early. I had originally planned on meeting a few other people there next Monday or Tuesday, and Val switched her plans so she will be there this weekend, although how I would find her I have no idea. BUT I called Trena—the person I was supposed to meet in Tangier—and she ended up having a change of plans as well and is planning on staying in Rabat. SOOOO I surely don’t want to be in Tangier by myself for an entire week. You’re probably thinking why not just go to Tangier and visit Val for the weekend, and then make it back down to Rabat. But here comes problem number 4 (or is it 5…can’t keep count at this point), a group of us were planning on going to Chefchouen next weekend and it’s a city very close to Tangier so it was going to be a perfect route instead of taking the more expensive 6-hour train ride to and from Tangier/Chefchouen to Rabat twice. Chefchouen is supposedly one of the nicest, most beautiful cities in the country and I’m yet to see it so this plan had been in my book for a very long time and it’s really important that I go. SOOOOO ugh longgg story, that probably doesn’t make very much since to any of you is that I’m planning on going back to Rabat tomorrow after all. I really really REALLY did not want to spend my ISP time in Rabat… I’m so over Rabat!!! But it might actually make the most sense. At least then I know people, have contacts and will hopefully be able to really conduct come interviews..??? At this point, I really hate all of this right now.
Ok ok… it is now a few hours after the last time I wrote and I’m now much calmer haha. I decided that I AM going to go to Tangier and meet Val because to be quite honest, going back to Rabat held no interest AND no definite answers to my current dilemmas. But I DO know that going and seeing Val (even if that does mean I waste another 3 days not doing “research”) will make me so so happy and I’ll have a good time. And at this point, maybe I’ll stay in Tangier for a few days and carry out the plan I originally had with Trena. OR if I want, I will just take a train back to Rabat for Thanksgiving and then go to Chefchouen. It’s just money right? (Not like the 130 dirham/16 dollar train ticket is really going to make or break me anyway.)
I also am spending this last night in Fes with just Elliot b/c Camille is at her job now and Sarah had to go back to Rabat tonight. And he and I have had such a good time! I haven’t really had the chance to get to know him yet and I’m so glad I’ve had this opportunity because I wouldn’t have otherwise. Granted, he is also in the same very frustrated boat as I am about this whole ISP business so we are getting really good at venting togetherJ
So at this point in the night, I AM going to Tangier tomorrow and I’ll play it by ear….hmmmm

Friday:
So again I had trouble sleeping because I am apparently Miss stress-o-matic these days. BUT I told myself to suck it up, be brave and go to Tangier. Now I know it’s really not THAT big of a deal to go to Tangier like I had originally planned anyway but it was just overwhelming doing it alone. I surely couldn’t have done it alone a few months/weeks ago. But I have been to the city before and I’m comfortable with the train system. So Elliot and I woke up, we each showered and headed to the train station as early as possible. We got there at like 8:45 and of course his train to Rabat left 10 minutes later and mine to Tangier didn’t leave until 10:50. But I sat at a café, ordered coffee and read and I was of course fine. Sparring you the boring details, I made it on my train unharmed and even made the correct switch when I was supposed to! Moroccans really are very very nice. Anytime I had a question or wanted to double check I was in the right place at the right time, everyone was so willing to answer and they were very friendly—yet not TOO over friendly as Moroccans can also sometimes be. I even conducted my first interviews on the train! I was so proud of myself!!! There was a group of young men, about 25 years old and they sat in my train car at first I’m sure to chat me up, but we ended up having a great conversation and one of them was even a teacher so they had lots of interesting things to say about youth, etc. They were also quite smart and their English was great… To top it off, they had to get off at a stop about 10 minutes after I was done asking them questions so we didn’t have to endure 3 more hours of awkward conversation—something Moroccans tend to be very good at!
I made it to Tangier, got to the hotel Val was supposed to be staying at and they weren’t quite there yet so I sat in the lobby (this hotel was SOOO nice… definitely upper UPPER class for Morocco haha) And YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY oh my goodness I was sooo sooo happy to see herJ!!! I needed that so so so bad! What good timing! Plus she is so brave and such a great person to travel with! Most of the people in her group were pretty terrified of Morocco but she and two of her friends “braved” the night streets with me and we got dinner and tea. I just think it’s hilarious that they were so scared of Tangier! Tangier of all places, too! It’s one of the biggest, most touristy-friendly cities in the country. But I also understand. I was intimidated by the entire country at first too. Actually, it took me a very long time to get as comfortable as I am now. And I was very happy to be able to show them the Morocco I know! They surely wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it the way thee did without me and they were so nice and grateful and curious—perfect characteristics for travel buddies I say. Tomorrow I’m taking them into the oh-so-cultural medina—which it is!—and we’re going to shop all dayJ
I also decided to check myself into a MUCH cheaper hotel so I could at least try to stay within the limits of the stipend I’ve been given. And I really like having a room to myself! I thought it would be awful and scary. But I think I got a pretty big confidence boost being around Val’s terrified friends—as silly as that is haha. I also felt good about that first interview earlier today and am feeling much more inspired and confident in trying to meet more people. I can think I might be able to survive this?!
–Drama Queen Totta 11/21/08

Saturday:
Ok so I woke up and met Val and all of her friends at their hotel and I gave them the best tour of Tangier that I could considering I don’t really know that city very well either. But we had a really good time wondering through the medina, shopping and bargaining. They were all so fun to hang out with! Not to mention that seeing Val just MADE my life so much better.
It was kind of funny to me that most of them were pretty nervous about being in “Morocco.” I mean, obviously it’s a different way of life and things are not the same as the western world, but it’s not THAT scary! I was so surprised they had hyped it up to being a scary, unsafe place! I mean I’ve survived somehow hahaha. But I did a very good job showing them around and they were very nice and grateful for me being thereJ I had a really good time, too!
Tomorrow morning I’m taking an early train back to Rabat and am just going to spend the rest of me time in Rabat… Mostly, I just really don’t want to travel alone for 2 weeks ESPECIALLY over Thanksgiving!!! But if what I wrote before makes me sound on the verge of craziness, no need to worry, I have backed away from that ledge and am doing fine now hahaha (That is especially to my mother who I’m sure I freaked out with a depressed sad email I sent in the midst of all my worry hahaha… sorry Momma)